It is Good

He said “it is good.”

 

I was standing in front of the mirror one night, critiquing my body, taking note of what I liked and didn’t like. Somewhere between my disapproving marks over my height and hair I remembered that he said “it is good.”

 

In Genesis 1:31God looked over his creation and called it good. In fact, he didn’t just say it was good, he said it was very good. Now in the long history of human insecurities much focus has been placed on the standard of others rather than God. For some reason we seem to think other people have better taste and a greater eye for what is beautiful than God. It’s quite ironic given that everything in nature matches, all the patterns on the animals we see fit, all the different ranges in color coordinate and there isn’t a single flower in need of more beauty. So for a creator with such an eye for aesthetics, how can he create any of us with anything but the best?

 

The problem is that we often forget that there was thought and vision to our formation. Even the areas on our bodies that may have come with a disability have a purpose that is good. For example, in John 9:2 the disciples came upon a man who was born blind. The disciples asked Jesus if it was the sins of the man or his parents that caused him to be born blind. Jesus replied that is was of no sin but that he was born in this condition so that the power of God may be manifested through him. Everything we get from God is good because he works it to the edification of those who receive it and to the glory of the one giving it. So your height, your hair, your facial features, your bra size, your hips and everything included is good not because they match the standard of what other people think is beautiful but because God designed it for a purpose that is good.

 

One of the biggest pitfalls I encountered in my life was believing that opportunities came by how well others received me. I believed the lie that how well I looked would open doors for me. It’s true that how we carry ourselves makes an impression on others and their receptivity towards us. But the lie the devil attached to that was that fitting into someone’s idea of beauty would make a way for me in life. Yet I believed the lie because I didn’t trust God’s word to be enough. I didn’t accept God’s view of me to be good enough. I couldn’t see how God worked behind the scenes of every situation so I made a god out of other people’s opinions because their opinions seemed to be what opened doors. How wrong I was! When I spent a year with every door closed in my life, I learned that no amount of make-up could make things better. God was the one who opened doors of opportunities for me and orchestrated things in my favor and He was the one that could take it away.

 

I see this mentality in the church often. It’s unfortunate to watch people act more kind and giving to a good looking person in church than to someone who looks disheveled.  I believe that layer of shallowness is something God continues to wrestle with his people over. I thank God that his judgments are unbiased, righteous and true. I thank God even more that he sees what’s in the heart way before the kind of shoes that are on the feet.

 

The more I grow in my walk with the Lord, the more I learn that how he has made me is enough. Whatever my shortcomings are emotionally, physically, and spiritually, His grace is sufficient to use it all for the good and perfect plan he has for my life. If he needed you or me to be something else for the plans he has for us, he would have made us differently. So I thank God that I’m 5’4. I thank God for my dark brown skin; I thank God for my tightly coiled hair because he said it is good.

A Different Cure

 

A Different Cure for Insecurity:

The quiet pill of humility

Marian F. Amo

 

We’ve all been there, whether at work, at school, at church or even at home. The encounter with someone overly confident that grates our skin; the coworker who acts like they know how to fix everything, that ministry leader who swears they’re the second person to lead a sinless life, that brother, sister, aunt, uncle, or cousin that makes you feel like maybe you were adopted because you’re just not as amazing as they are. Then we see the quiet stranger on the bus sitting all by himself or we bump into that ministry worker who is struggling to step out because she doesn’t think she’s good enough and our hearts immediately go out to them. Their insecurities conjure sympathy and grace in us since many of us have suffered and still suffer from feelings of inadequacy. Yet what I have come to learn is that the overly confident person and the loner in the back hiding from the world are two sides of the same coin.

It was hard for me to accept that insecurity could be a by-product of pride. Yet when I examine how pride works, the link becomes obvious. Pride has two elements, the part that is self-gratifying and the part that is self-destructive. It seeks to validate itself constantly and when circumstances allow it to be validated even if were being lied to, we walk around like we own the world. When circumstances don’t allow it to be validated we punish ourselves. It was Andrew Murray, a renowned author on humility who explained that pride is our inherited nature and it manifests in ways we can’t even recognize. When I paid closer attention to what the Bible teaches about who we are as Christians I gained this revelation: genuine humility cures insecurity. It is a very different cure to a world, even amongst Christians, that promote more self-adoration as the cure for insecurity.

 

The poor in spirit

Matthew 5:3 states “blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” NIV. What does it mean to be “poor in spirit”? Well it can’t be an issue of physical poverty since the reference is towards the spirit A couple of verses later Christ states “blessed are the meek” so ‘poor in spirit’ has to be about more than temperament and outlook. The term poor is a reference to an understanding of one’s need. The poor in spirit are aware of their absolute need for God, their total dependency on his grace and their inability to save themselves. The poor in spirit have genuine humility and their inheritance is the Kingdom of Heaven.  That is a very splendid reward for humility.

Now I know when people hear the word humility, all kinds of pictures come up in their heads. They see someone serving, some washing the feet of another person or someone waiting patiently on line at the post office. Others see weakness and being taken advantage of. Both ideas may reflect how humility can look like but neither of them defines what humility is. One thing for sure that humility isn’t is insecurity. Being insecure is not being humble even if an insecure person looks humble for not exalting himself. Andrew Murray explained that humility had nothing to do with what position you were in and everything to do with the state of your mind and heart. There are people who will wash your feet and then pat themselves on the back for looking humble. There are people who will order you around but with sincere love and consideration.

Real humility comes when we understand that we are nothing without God. Although within God’s grace it seems like many are functioning well without him, ultimately, their very sustenance is in his hands. Our value comes from the fact that we were made by God for His glory. So although we are nothing and God is everything, we have everything because God is with us. Let me take that a step further, as a Christian, you belong to Christ. You are in fact OWNED. It is a truth many are aware of but haven’t fully grasped in their hearts. Because God doesn’t terrorize his authority over us we often forget that Jesus is first our Lord (ruler) then our savior. However, that Lordship comes with the adoption of us into the family of Christ along with the assurance that everything we need will be provided for us. If we have that understanding, we can choose others above ourselves because our worth is secured.

The Scapegoat

So why then have so many Christians been in bondage to their insecurities? Sometimes our insecurities serve as a nice scapegoat for us to avoid the tasks and positions we’ve been called to. I learned the same lesson Moses had to learn. Whatever God calls you to do, He will equip you to do it not because you feel like you can but because He can. Moses threw a lot of excuses at God. After all, he murdered someone in his past, ran away from home and stuttered in speech. He was insecure about himself physically, insecure about his identity, insecure about his past and insecure about his future. Yet God burned with anger against Moses because he looked to himself and calculated whether he can do what God had intended to do by His own power.

I’ve been insecure about my physical features, I’ve been insecure about my talents, I’ve been insecure about my abilities to do what I’ve been called to do in every area of my life from school to career to family life. Yet if I had seen my body not as something to compare for my own glory but as the temple of the Holy Spirit of which I have the privilege of being a steward over, I wouldn’t have any room to be insecure. If I had been focusing on God’s strength and his capabilities rather than my own I wouldn’t have been nervous about not being good enough. We compare ourselves to people and statuses in our attempts to find security outside of God. Even worse, we believe the lies thrown at us over the word of God. But humility keeps our eyes on God while the comparisons and judgments fall to the waste side.

When it comes to insecurities much has been written. The majority focuses on more self-loving, self-improvement, self-reconciliation, and self-promotion. I’ve come to see that less self-confidence and more God-confidence creates a confidence that can’t be shaken. The person that is overly self-confident and the person that is blatantly insecure both need humility. If all the self-improvement methods and self-esteem boosting rhetoric doesn’t quiet those gnawing fears at the back of your mind, try humility. You may find that as you magnify the Lord, your shortcomings will lose their sting.

The Paradox of A New Year

wowzer, i haven’t posted in a mighty long while. Not because there haven’t been things to write about but because life has been busy….no, that’s an excuse, if you really want to do something, you will make time for it…i guess all the words i would pour into this blog as solace have been shared for the edification of others in fellowship and in small groups.

Well, it’s a new year, so let’s rekindle some good habits…..speaking of habits, I find a new year always caught in a paradox that leaves it bitter sweet depending on what you focus on.

You see, when that 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 comes and everyone is screaming HAPPY NEW YEAR and we’re kissing lovers, hugging friends, passed out at home (or on the street corner, whichever you prefer) the excitement is due to the hopes and possibilities a new year can bring. It may be a new year to make things right, new opportunities, new attempts at our dreams, maybe new relationships or a new level in a relationship. Whatever it is we are hoping for, we are excited because it will be NEW.

Unfortunately, the new year does not erase the consequences of mistakes made in the last year that will bear fruit. that new day in the new year does not vanish your community. you’ll most likely still be dealing with the same folks you work with, live with, serve with and hang out with. If the dynamics of those relationships have not changed, they will be the same even when you put a 12 after 20. Whatever habits, w attitudes and mentalities we acquired last year (good or bad), will be there waiting for us in the new year.

I’ve observed that the reason why a lot of people become disillusioned through out the year, and why so many resolutions are abandoned by March is because people don’t understand that a new year is more about working out the effects of the year before and sowing seeds of change for the next year than it is about brand new places, people and things. A new year is about harvesting fruit from the old opportunities that was granted to us. It’s about possessing the positions that were given to us from the doors that were opened before.

Don’t get me wrong, new doors will open, new people, new things and new places will come. But that’s not what makes it a “new” year. So many people walk into the year expecting everything to be “different” not understanding that life is a flowing mass, not a solid brick. If a sink is overflowing, you should close the faucet, but until the water drains away, the water will still be flowing. Issues of last year flow into the next and the next. This is why when God speaks of time, he refers to it in Seasons.

A New Season

2011 was the start of a new season for me. In so many areas of my life, things of the old came to an end in 2010. 2011 truly was a new year for me in that the entire landscape of my life changed. How I viewed things, how I carried myself, the revelations of a calling, the opportunities to serve in ministry that really aided in my growth. but most importantly the standard in which i saw myself to live and treat others. you don’t know you’ve changed until you’re put into similar circumstances where your response now differs from your response before. Some things haven’t changed, but they will. 2012 is a new year according to my calendar but for me, its a continuation and a building upon of what God began in 2011.

Maybe if we begin to see 2012 as part of a season we won’t get so hung over about the inevitable disappointments we will face this year. Maybe we’ll breath a little better knowing that the trials that seemed to flow into this year have a deadline. Maybe we’ll rest better in the hope that even if we don’t see everything we’ve worked hard to sow come to life this year, they surely will. I learned some hard lessons in 2010 and they helped me out so much in 2011 and i’m counting on Holy Spirit to take me into a new level of intimacy in God. And if that’s the only thing new this year, that’d be enough.

-Marian F. Amo -

 

Misadventures At Work – A Lesson in Provision

Once in a while I’m reminded that I live on earth, and here on earth things run out even when we get there on time.

Last week Tuesday I was at work when I received a company wide email informing of left over food on the 8^th floor. I didn’t give much thought to it but two of my coworkers came over to my cubicle and insisted that we check out the food. I complied; after all, I needed a break from staring at the computer screen for three hours. We got into the elevator on the 12^th floor. I saw that there was already a group of people in the elevator waiting to get off on the 8^th floor. I noted to my coworker that they must have gotten the email as well and were on the food trail. As it turned out, they were, so we all got off on the 8^th floor. I had never been to the 8^th floor so I didn’t know where the food was; I just started walking through the cubicles hoping that I’d come across a banquet of goods. To my surprise, a line of people had formed behind me, also unaware of where the food was located and assumed that I knew where I was going. Luckily, I was unashamed to ask a complete stranger where the food was on his floor and he gave me directions to the eating area.

As I walked towards the eating area, I felt a bit like Moses, leading the Israelites to the Promised Land, that’s until I got to the eating area and found that all the food was gone. It hadn’t even been five minutes since the email was sent and yet there we were staring at scraps of lettuce and crumbs from bread that must have been good. Clearly, this wasn’t the Promised Land. What made the situation funny though was the reaction of the other coworkers. They all just stood there in disbelief as if by staring, more food would magically appear. I watched and laughed as their brains mulled over why there wasn’t any food. One remarked “this is like in the discovery channel where the vultures come to feed on the carcasses left over by the lions.” and another replied, “I feel more like a hyena.” So with disappointed hearts and a bit of self-loathing, we filed back into the elevator to go back to our cubicles.

The great thing about God is that when he says he’ll provide, he actually does. There are no shortages in heaven, no famines in the Lord’s storehouses. I can’t say the same about people and their supplies. But in those moments when human provision fails, it’s nice to know that I serve a God who can take five loafs and two fish to feed a multitude.

Discarding the What Ifs

This summer is proving to be a multi-tasking summer indeed.

Anyhoo, a couple of days ago I was thinking about how different things may have turned out if I had gone on last year’s mission trip….I had a small case of the “what Ifs.” I say a “small case” because when I start going down the yellow brick road of what ifs, I end up in a rabbit hole with Alice and all the other dejected fairy tales for days. This one, only lasted a couple of minutes and the reason why is because I can see the ordering of my steps by God.

We hear so often about doing God’s will and being in the center of his will and it almost seems as if we get to the center if we do everything right. But that’s not true. i have come to learn that our missed opportunities and mistakes are used by God in leading us where he wants us to go. That’s why the bible sates “he works all things to the good of those who love him.”

I was standing in my basement thinking, “man if I had gone last year, maybe things would have been different between me and so and so, maybe i would have acted differently throughout the summer, maybe I would have handled things differently.” but then i look again at the chronology of events and I realize, if I hadn’t gone, I wouldn’t have tried so hard to form a relationship, if I hadn’t tried so hard, I wouldn’t have had my heart broken, if I hadn’t had my heart-broken, I wouldn’t have done Be Transformed, if I hadn’t done Be Transformed, I wouldn’t have come to see that I had a calling on my life to lead purposeful small group and become a facilitator. If I hadn’t become a facilitator, I wouldn’t have grown as much as I have and gathered so much information for my book.

It almost feels like everything that happened, was set-up to happen the way it did to bring me where I am and I’m in a really good place. Working at OUP, writing articles for christian mags, serving in transitions, leading in retreat activities, taking part of the promo video, leading Be Transformed….I don’t think I would have been as focused as I am now if i was distracted by a relationship. better yet, I know the level of maturity i have now was not what i had a year ago and so the relationship would have failed anyway. So it turns out that the leading into the center of God’s will includes our mistakes and missed opportunities. That’s why dwelling on “what if” is so unproductive. It doesn’t just waste time, it also questions God’s ability to take into account the shortcomings of our nature in his plans for our lives.

So now I thank God for however things play out because he does indeed work all things out.

-M-

She Came and Left

This is for my moms, who is leaving tomorrow  It’s really to honor her.

Traces of Grace

She came and left with her soft footsteps

gentle weights on the earth as she walks

not like my father’s, whose steps

pound heavily on the wooden floor

weighted down by years of bitterness.

No, the moment I woke up

I felt her presence in the other room.

The presence of nurture, love and concern

sitting in the corner chair of the living room

stirring the stew and rice in the kitchen

mending the broken pieces of a shattered marriage.

With all her frailties and mentalities

she stands, even now, pouring grace on wounds that won’t heal,

reaching across bridges burned just for peace.

The strange unrelenting hope

that resides in the bosom of a mother

to manage a household at rest.

How do you do it, I ask

how do you stand beside the sharp thorns of his words

and carry the load of his hate?

How do you lie next to his steel walls-

cold bars that imprison and still give warmth?

How have you not withered

like a plant starved to death

How do you love without reason?

What grace lie embedded in those gentle steps

to leave not as one abandoning

but as one released.

-Marian F. Amo

The Awkward Element of Love

I bumped into someone at church the other day and the encounter was like a poster for awkward moments. She came towards my friend and I with arms wide open and big smiles and hugged my friend. Then she proceeded to talk to my friend for a couple of minutes before giving me an obligatory side hug. You know the one you give to the other person standing next to the person you really want to talk to so they don’t feel left out? Yea. To make matters worse, there’s a growing film of awkwardness between us that stems from a series of actions and responses displaying a lack of sincerity in her approach towards me. It’s the typical, “i-don’t- mind -saying -hi -to -you -but -i -have- no -intention- of -being-a-real-friend-to-you-but-hey-come-to-my-party-cause-i’m-cool.” Now I don’t mind being someone’s associate but I can’t stand people treating me like I need to be inaugurated into their crew for their own selfish egos and then turn around and act like that is sincere friendship.  But here’s the twist, my perspective on the situation, maybe even on all of our interactions could be stemming from my own inherent distrust of people.

I struggle with trusting people. Actually, let me be more specific; I struggle with giving the motives of people the benefit of the doubt especially if i have witnessed signs of shadyness.  Now 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7 lays out what love is. One of the descriptions of love is that it “always trusts”. That must be a typo because God can’t possibly be asking me to extend trust on people right? Or maybe that’s how He loves and that’s great except he commanded me to love others as he has loved me. So that leaves me in a pickle. How do I conquer this element of love without feeling like a fool or a push over? What am I missing?

I have caught myself countless of times concluding the worst about someone’s intentions before their real intentions are revealed. Now I can say that my gut instincts about people have been as accurate as that of those who build rockets launched into space but then again, some of those rockets have exploded mid air. With that said, there is also the issue of Satan who is always looking to instigate strife and division by placing negative thoughts in our heads about one another. Yet the greatest damage to a clear perspective is our own fears and undue resentment of people. So after meditating on 1 Corinthins 13, I realized a couple of things that shifted my view.

Loving someone cannot be dependent on the person. That sounds strange right? Yet when you look at the character of God, that’s exactly how he operates. God’s love is unwavering because He is motivated by who he is not by how we act. “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” – Romans 5:8. If we’re waiting for someone to give us a reason to love them the way Christ has commanded us, we won’t love anyone. In fact, you’ll hate everyone because people will give you more reasons to stay away than to embrace. Quite honestly, “the benefit of the doubt” is called as such because there is a reason to doubt their sincerity.  Yet we decide what we want to assume about each other and when we chose to extend grace on someone’s character by not assuming the worst of him or her, then we give God a chance to let his love flow through us. Even if it turns out that their intentions were wicked, our thoughts and actions (which are the only things we have control over) remain blameless because we treated the person like a fellow disciple rather than a criminal. That is when God gets to enact justice on our behalf without the drama that comes from us acting out on our own misconceptions.

Some people would say that getting your hand jammed by a door is the worst feeling on earth. Others would argue that there is no feeling worse than watching someone you love get hurt. Well, those maybe legitimate claims of the worst feelings, but for me, nothing sucks more than being in the presence of someone you don’t trust. You feel it emotionally and physically. Yet I am learning that in those moments, there is an opportunity to exercise love. Maybe the purpose of those awkward situations is to teach us to draw from the Holy Spirit who enables us to love outside of ourselves. The only relief I have in the presence of someone i’m not completely sure of, is that God knows everything. He searches the hearts of man and judges their thoughts. People might try to play you, but God always exposes the truth sooner or later. Therefore our position is not to police the motives of others but to be instruments of love and grace.

When we stop worrying about how other people’s actions will affect us and trust that God is in control and that he will use what the devil intends for evil for good, we are at liberty to love like Christ. Even more importantly, we stop focusing on someone else’s flaw and examine  our own hearts of any motivations to distrust, like past wounds, insecurities and jealousy.

Whether I like it or not, the awkward element of love is also the element that opens or closes that gates of fellowship. You can’t interact too long or receive help from someone you don’t trust. We try to engage others without extending trust not understanding that all interactions will remain on the surface until that grace is given.

-M-

Bondage

People love their bondage.

Until its killing them or kills them through and through

but what they don’t understand is that by the time it’s killing them, they are half way dead

and by the time it has killed them, it’s too late to turn back. So what can be said to such

a broken and warped heart? Nothing – except to pray that drops of humility will erode

the walls of pride built around their system of bondage. Like the constant washing of waters smooths out a rock,

maybe the sweeping flow of disappointments and hurts will lead to a reconsideration of their chains-

Yet people have learned to fortify themselves so quickly in the face of pain, that it almost has an adverse reaction;

rather than soften, the walls get more jagged and sharp. Another layer added for extra protection.

Then that leaves only one option. Not the pull of force but the force of persuasion.

The only persuasion strong enough to push against our consistent inequities.

LOVE. They need to be loved and loved and loved and loved and loved till it builds

like a tidal wave that sweeps over the walls and washes out the lies and illusions inside.

And even then, the power of love comes from the medicinal humility that cleans away the poisonous rationalizations.

So neither can be avoided yet both are despised, if not out of pride, then out of sheer ignorance.

They wake up tied up in a room. They learn that they can free themselves.

They call for help to unlock the door of the room only to find that outside the door is a created way of life

with guard-rails that keep order the flow of freedom in truth from the contamination of lies.

But inside the room, there is no order, no guard-rails. They can do whatever they please.

So they untie themselves and stay in the room.

Kings and queens of self-destruction. The lords over their wasted hours – days – years.

And congratulate  themselves on having found freedom.

All external bondage placed upon another first begins within.

The trapper must first hate the traps within himself in order to release those he traps

and those who chain themselves must hate their chains enough to fight for release.

But people love their bondage. So here we are.

-M-

Relevant Devotion

May 5th, 2011 Coming Through the Dark Night By Tim Chernak “When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered, I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you. Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory.” Psalm 73:21-24 NIV IN POP CULTURE, it’s cool to explore your spirituality, escape religion and search for God—it’s not cool to find Him. It’s definitely not cool to tell people once you do. In a spiritual age that celebrates authenticity over assurance, it seems that questions are the new answers. Rather than embracing doubt as a vehicle to truth, the two have become nearly indistinguishable. Blessed assurance isn’t so blessed anymore. For many, the temporary “dark night” of the soul is now a permanent reality. Rather than searching for truth, today’s postmodern climate finds truth in the very act of searching. There is an upside to this—questions are necessary to facilitate exploration. However, when the entire Christian faith is consumed by the deconstructive machine of postmodern culture, what’s left? For many of us, the answer is “not much.” My soul’s “dark night” nearly destroyed my personal faith. Pursuing authenticity was a goal in and of itself. Intellectual curiosity was what I aimed for, and I hit the target. But I’ve discovered searching for a light switch is the best usage of a flashlight. Living in constant darkness just isn’t sustainable. Eventually, you simply run out of batteries. The means have to point to an end lest they become it.

Couldn’t have said it any better.

-M-

Finding Identity in the Easter story

I had a chance to watch the Easter play at the Brooklyn Tabernacle yesterday. It was AMAZING! seriously, i think it was even better than the Christmas show. Anyhoo, as i was watching the play, i was pondering over the issue of identity. I’m writing a short poetic piece on identity and it seems as though the moment i undertook to write it, every day has given me some truth about identity. people will always try to define you. it’s inherit in our nature to categorize and label. but if you put your security in what others say about you, you will be miserable indeed. people have very fickle emotions and their judgements can be very shallow. if you don’t know who you are in Christ and what God says about you, you will chase after many idols. but even more importantly, God’s word gives freedom for you to be yourself, wholly accepted and loved. Christ was able to live and teach a message that was very counter-cultural because he knew who he was. He knew who he belonged to so the opinions of those around him couldn’t shake him or deter him from his mission. Many of us don’t know who we are or who we belong to. we put our security in the words of others and we suffer greatly for it. Put your security in Christ. His love is unshakable. Put your security in Christ because as you are walking with him, he will redeem your reputation and raise up your credibility. you won’t get that from people. People will label you by your past sins even after you’ve changed. Let him restore your reputation. He did it for Joseph, Daniel, Mary and Jesus himself.

As I was watching that easter play, all i can think of is “wow, this is my identity.” Christ. My relationship status won’t matter, my finances won’t matter, my ethnicity won’t matter to me when i’m dead, neither will my race. All occupations come to an end even the most noble of them. But eternity is forever. Eternity is now and living and I have Christ. An identity that last forever. Amen.

-M-